My Butter Half

(Movie Theater | Minnesota, USA)
(A couple approaches me at the movie theater’s concession stand.)
Me: “Hi, what can I—”
Customer: “Give me a green tea.”
Me: “Sorry, we don’t have green tea.”
Customer: “ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! Well, fine! What DO you have?”
(I point right behind me where all our sodas are clearly listed.)
Customer: “Well, FINE! Give me a Diet Coke, then.”
Customer Husband: “…And a large popcorn, please!”
Me: “Sure! That all?”
Customer Husband: “Yep!”
Me: “Cool. You guys want butter on the popcorn?”
Customer Husband: *giant smile* “Ye—”
Customer: “Of course not! Unlike you, I have a figure to maintain! I can’t have BUTTER on my popcorn! Really, are you an idiot?!”
(I go to get them their popcorn, but I purposely put way too much butter in the bucket and shovel a thin layer of popcorn on top to hide the butter.)
Me: “Here you go!”
Customer: “Well, finally!”
Customer Husband: *whispers as his wife turns away* “Butter?”
Me: “Yes, sir.”
(The guy hands me a five dollar bill. To this day, my coworkers and I refer to him as ‘Butter Man.’)